Its the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded...

I have been experiencing a major writing block.  It could be the current state of life, it could also be that in addition to all the writing that my job entails I also have an online class (my LAST one!) and my approval essay (a mere 20+ pages) all demanding many, many written words.  

So, this sermon was hard fought, and still feels a little scattered, yet very much reflective of the INCREDIBLY BRAVE conversation the churches I serve are having these days...and it finally did come together with a little help from Brad Pitt.

[John 3:14-20] 

When I read the story of Nicodemus, I feel strangely comforted. He is my kind of guy, he had an experience that I can relate to. Nicodemus was a leader in the synagogue, probably trying to live his life of faith the best way he knew how. He was following the rules, getting to worship, from the outside he was a stand up man of God – a goody-goody church man. And then, one night he lays down to sleep, when all the duties of the day are done, and as he lets his calm and collected exterior relax and any false pretenses wash away, Nicodemus is left with only himself, that moment of raw honesty as he drifts into sleep...and then the real questions of life, existence and what he has been doing with his life all come to the surface, Nicodemus experienced that moment where nothing stands between himself, his life and God.

And then panic, questions have come that do not have answers. He thinks over his life work as a religious leader and begins to doubt what he has been doing all along! Nicodemus, the goody-goody church man is questioning his faith, his behavior, his beliefs...and he runs out of the house, into the darkness of the night.

Nicodemus runs until he finds Jesus, because Nicodemus has questions and he is hoping against hope that the Jesus has answers.

The connection between Jesus and Nicodemus begins with a confession of faith; Nicodemus arrives in the night and confronts Jesus by saying, “‘Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God.’” Nicodemus addresses Jesus with respect, “Rabbi” and affirms Jesus as a man who has power that could only come from God...Nicodemus wants to believe, but before he can believe he needs to understand. So, the questions come.

How can anyone be born after growing old? Jesus had just told Nicodemus that only those born from above can see the kingdom of God...only those born from above. So the natural cycle of life is completely flipped around, be born again? Be born from above? No where in Nicodemus' understanding of faith and righteousness is there talk about rebirth or being born from above. Yet, Nicodemus is in the middle of a real crisis of life, he has heard of this Jesus man, he believes God is present in this Jesus...so Nicodemus has arrived with real questions and he takes the seemingly crazy answers seriously.

Something about Jesus had caught Nicodemus. Something worth sneaking out at night, something worth asking these provocative questions, something worth the risk of having his life's work dismissed or his understanding of God turned upside down. Something about Jesus made this conversation worth it.

This is why I jive with Nicodemus.

Sometimes, in churchy circles, he gets a bad rap, he is a Pharisee after all! We could criticize him for only thinking with his head and never engaging his heart, we could say he is asking too many questions when he should be listening and learning. Maybe Nicodemus was just a man who talked the talk and never walked the walk...

But I think he was brave. Incredibly courageous to encounter Jesus and know that this man, who clearly embodied the presence of God, this man was worth reflecting over Nicdemus' own life, questioning his own work, risking having his understanding of God and life turned upside down. Nicodemus was brave enough not only to ask very difficult questions, but then... to wait for the answer.

For the sake of the church, for the sake of our own walks with Christ...I hope each and every one of us is a lot like Nicodemus. Today, here in the year 2012 our church is in a very “Nicodemus” place. We have a long history of the church, we have our liturgical traditions, our institutional organization and our church has spent years, decades, centuries solidifying these historical stories, liturgical traditions and our very own institution.

And yet, the church remains in steady decline, the world's view of the church grows increasingly suspect. So, those who have invested in the church, those who do find being held in a community of faith meaningful have these Nicodemus moments! We work and serve all day long the best we know how and then, when the day is done and all the pretenses wash away we are left with a moment of honesty, when nothing stands between ourselves, our lives and God. And... cue the questions!

Are we willing to have that Nicodemus experience? We are willing to ask questions of Jesus that will challenge the way the church has existed? Are we willing to risk having our understanding of church and God turned upside down? Are we willing to ask these difficult questions of Jesus...and then listen for the answer?  

(If Nicodemus played ball)

Now, I am not much of a movie goer, at least not movies that aren't G-rated and animated. But a few months ago I did manage to see the movie, Moneyball. This movie is based on a book which tells the story of baseball team – Oakland A's and their general manager, Billy Beane. Billy Beane manages this mediocre baseball team with limited financial resources – after a devastating loss Billy Beane is determined to turn things around. So, he picks up on a new way of forming a team. He uses a new philosophy of skill analysis which is non-traditional and goes against the entire philosophy of trading and training players! Billy Beane is questioning the history, the tradition, the institution and comes out with a new kind of team...a team that actually wins baseball games! It wasn't always pretty and Billy Beane didn't do it for fame and glory – he was determined for the sake of the game he loved.

Being a part of human institutions; be it baseball teams, churches, families, companies...you name it and constant reforming and wondering about a better way is part of the deal. In order to stay engaged with other humans we need to be like Billy Beane, looking at the status quo and believing there is truly another way.

Following Jesus can feel a lot like struggling with a mediocre baseball team. In the life of faith and life in the church success or victories are difficult to measure, there is no fame or glory, and it isn't always pretty. This is not a baseball game, and we are not trying to win anything – we are not trying to reach or achieve our own salvation, but that following Jesus and living a life of service and love is difficult. And now, we're talking about blazing a whole new trail! Why would we purposely make this walk of faith even more difficult?

Jesus does have an answers, Jesus does hear our questions and this is his answer to us, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish, but have eternal life! The Son did not come into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

The church is called to exist for the sake of the world! That great love of God that is given to each of us is a gift, pure gift and it is meant to be given away again and again and again. Just like Nicodemus, there is something about that Jesus guy that catches us – is it the free gift of grace and you cannot believe is being extended to you? Is it the passion for the poor and the least among us? Is it the presence and power of God that brings healing and wholeness? Somehow, someway Jesus comes to each of us, while we are wandering around at night...and the way we understand our lives, our own individual little lives, is completely turned upside down. And now, the way we do church, the way we embodied God's love, the way we organize and reach out is up for question. And why do we bother with the question? Because of Jesus, because God so, so, so, so loved the world...and the church is called to exist for the sake of the world.

The Nicodemus experience begins with our own relationship with Jesus Christ, that something that draws us in, loves us up, forgives and blesses and heals. And then, our Nicodemus experience will spill over to our way of life, our way of being the church and our history, our traditions our institutions will all be called to reflect that something – that love, that forgiveness, that blessing, that healing.

God is not done with us. God is not done with this world. So the church still needs to have a voice, the church still needs to be present and engaging with the world around us...we need to be Nicodemus, honest, real and questioning. It is time for us to look at the status quo and believe there is a better way.

It takes faith, but so much more than that, it takes the love of God for the whole world and the grace of Jesus Christ as a pure and free gift to every person.

May you lay your head down in peace tonight and may you rise as Nicodemus – willing to run to Jesus for the sake of the world. Amen.