Goodbye sweetheart, now its time to go

The Princess has always been a sensitive heart and as my father once said, “she's a real mama's girl”. Most of the time I delight in these two truths about her. I love her perceptive eye, her concern for what's happening around her and I love that she always has a big, running hug for me every-time we're reunited.

The down side to these two truths about the Princess is saying goodbye. I would guess that 6.5 out of 10 times that we say goodbye at daycare it is dramatic, tear-filled and heart-wrenching. Even when the Princess gets to stay with some of her favorite people in the whole-world the goodbye needs to consist of a fast hug and an even faster exit. I have learned to grow a (somewhat) thick skin to these goodbyes, but most of the time it still tugs at my heartstrings and I still dread every goodbye we have to say.

We are saying a lot of “goodbyes” these days. While I mentioned our trip up north in my last post, I neglected to say that we spent time with some really important people. For example, from the time she was two months old, the Princess has been blessed beyond blessed to be adopted by “Grandpa Greggie and Grandma Andrea”. So, over the weekend she spent time water the garden, swimming in the hot-tub, playing in the “Princess room” and getting lots of sweet love and attention (while the weary Pastor worked, socialized and rested...we're both blessed beyond blessed). When it came time to leave the Northlands the Princess cried...big, alligator tears for a good long while. That's when it hit me that I am not the only one saying goodbye and she is old enough to grasp what moving means now for our most important relationships.

There is a long quote from Frederick Buechner, (one of my all time favorite writers) which talks about the effect of goodbyes and remembering. Now, I realize we are only moving away for one year, so I do not wish to get all crazy-dramatic about that one year. However, this transition has really made me ponder what makes us “us”. We are “us” because of our relationships, and moving away from these relationships changes how we live into our “us-ness”. I know its only a year, but its a year when we will both really feel the distance, the newness, the fear, the unknown. I am trusting it will also be a year that we will both feel bonded together, growing together, adventuring together.

Its that in-between time when we're saying goodbyes, 

anticipating hellos
 and

taking life one day at a time.

“When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart. For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way. If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone. “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” the good thief said from his cross, there are perhaps no more human words in all of scripture, no prayer we can pray so well.”

                                                                                                                          Frederick Buechner